Heart whispers to Soul

There is the time when you find that life is quite difficult. Yet you have to use all of your physical and mental strengths to fight the non-stop challenges until you feel like you want to give up, leave everything and walk down the street alone without any memory.

I do feel the same way. Go to class, then go back to hostel, finish the assignment, group discussion, prepare for presentation, write the lesson plan - those are my daily routine. Well that's a normal life for student, no doubt.

Since this is Ramadhan, I suppose to double my ibadah but it seems like.. things do not happen in the way that I want it to be. Last week I showed my draft of the assignment regarding to the issues that happened in school. However, my lecturer did not approve my issues and asked me to change to another issues. I had to see her and showed my draft for many times until she approved. Actually the time given is not enough for us to do a lot of references and find the information because all assignments and research come at the same time. Yet we have to submit them in a short of time. So we don't have any choice at all. Thus I need to sacrifice my sleeping time and work double. Instead of waking up in the middle of the night to pray and ask for His forgiveness, I use the time given to complete those assignments (with non-stop working). After the iftar and Maghrib prayer I suppose to go for terawih but then I sit on the chair, open my laptop and continue writing the assignment until morning. Yeah that's crazy enough.

There was a night when I was busy typing the explanation for the issues and I fall asleep (with no intention). When I woke up, it was almost 7.45 a.m. and I didn't perform Subuh prayer yet! So I immediately take a wudhu and perform solah. That's sooo weird. Even the solat wajib you almost missed, how about the other ibadah? Durhh what kind of muslim are you? Come on Izma. It's Ramadhan! Again, it's Ramadhan. Where have you been?? =_=

Frankly speaking I feel a bit down.. I wish everything will end as soon as possible so that I can manage my time properly. I wish I could plan better, I wish everything is going to be okay. Oh how I wish those things. Forgive me God  :'(

Till then, my take 5 has fulfilled by writing this entry. Now I have to offline and print the assignment to submit tomorrow morning.



Damned. What's wrong with me?