before and after

Lately I've been thinking a lots especially when it comes into the part of being myself. For those years, I've missed many good things in my life. Hell yeah I feel bad. So bad.

First, I regret that I trust some people so much till I ignore some other things that are very important in my life. Then I realised that I didnt spend much time with my family as I thought that friends can understand me the most. Totally Im wrong because we can't find good people in a cheap store. They come and they go without knowing how meaningful they are for us. As my world is falling apart, the one that will stay beside me will be my family even they dont know or understand what's the matter but at least I still have them rite?

Second, there's some people that I think as the best friends in the world before they turning into hypocrite and back stabbing person. Well at least I got some lesson. So I will never care about them anymore because they will ruin my life as they did before. I might forgive but I'll never forget what you've done. I sacrificed my time, my feeling just to respect you as you are but you betrayed our friendship to hell. So if you feel down again, dont you ever try to find me because for me you are nothing!

Third, I missed the old me. I missed the time when I tried to learn how to play those musical instruments and listened to the creative rhytm/melody. Sincerely I wish I can spend my precious moments with mr. milk mari, talking about music and sharing our experiences. We've known each other for four years yet I still feel that having a great brother as you is one of the best things in my life. Eventhough we fought for some reasons, but we still can accept each other right? I know it might sound silly because you always says that don't easily trust other people especially yourself but let we appreciate those people around us before we lose them.

Fourth, love hurt me the most. When the door of happiness closed, another door opens but often times I look so long to the closed door that I don't see the one that has been opened for me.. Oh God, can you give me the second chance to open the door back? Because I hope I can enter into that door for the next four years..

Lastly, the truth is Im a sinner. Thus, Im in the process of inhealing myself to be someone I deserve to be + being a good servant of God. After all, I know where should I lead to - I'll be bound to earth. So many nights I can't sleep, thinking whether I can have a place in heaven. Did the angels write my name in the right or the left side? God, I beg Your grace on me and I confess to You my sins. So forgive me, for none is there to forgive sins but You...

I bit you welcome to my world

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let him go..



p/s: never say that u don't love me anymore if u still can't forget me and let me go..

back to normal

fuhh~ da lame gile x on9.stat fnl xm smpai abis camping. stat sem ni kitorg de b.i.g nye camp kt hutan area gombak.lupe daa name tmpt die.rebutia kot.bantai je la. da la pnt mnjwb exm x ilang lg. pstu kna pi camping for 3 days. bile dgaq psl camping tu aku budget cm mnarik n adventure. tp hampeh siot.sgt menyeksakan. nyamuk,mak nyamuk, moyang nyamuk, bini nyamuk, sume dok berkumpul kt khemah kitowg. da la nyamuk hutan bsr cm gajah. abis lengan aku tggl kesan bintik2 merah. huwargh~

1st activity ktorg ialah melalak lgu nasyid sahabat.kompem aku x reti satu pn.miming je lebih. then mlm tu kol 9 lbih kitorg dibawa msuk hutan.pstu kna jln sowang2. dlm gelap, tnpa handphone n pandu arah.just follow d sounds. mule2 aku da sesat pi msk lorong mane ntah.nsb bek jumpe jln kuar blk. klu x mau x nye bermalam kt hutan seram tu sensorang. then bile jumpe group membe kt atas bukit kne redah plak utan tu smpi ujung. dlm keadaan gelap tu mcm2 da berlaku. kna gigit pacat pn da x rase pape. cuak seh kt utan. da la aku ni snake phobia. skali tertukar ranting ngn mr sawa naya beb. x beraya haji la aku jwbnye. pastu kitorg kne redah pkok2 n ranting yg berduri tahap ketebalan 4 lapis span basuh pinggan kt cafe. plg mlg bile ranting2 tu da berbelit kt peha n leher aku.tercekik cm sial. nsib baek fad smpt tlg aku.klu x insyAllah jd arwah.

kemuncak night walk tu disertai dgn sujud dlm air sungai yg sejuk gile babem smpai thp parkinson. pstu mtk doa for parents n evryting. then utk blk ke khemah kitorg kne slide down dr atas smpi bwh. sakit seh bontot aku kne akar2 kayu. abis luke n calar2 tgn. klu mak mentua tgk kompem pengsan ternganga, x jadik nk sarung cincin wt menantu. at last smpi gk kt khemah n kompem sume tido mati. knyng la sang nyamuk2 mlm tu. cilakak.

activiti utk 2nd day involve on 6 different check points. so ktorg berpeluang men flying fox, qurban, men tarzan, jd org buta n bla3.. then mlm tu kitorg kne bine bandar baru bertamadunkn islam by using diff types of food. group aku wt replika tmn rekreasi mnggunakn halia, kacang, carrot n mcm2 la. tp at last sume dirobohkn oleh pok nik. huwaaaaa... T.T last day kitowg terlibat ngn jungle trekking. time slide nye part tu kitorg kne trun cm superman terbang, kepala kt bwh kaki kt atas. pstu org blkg kna pgg kaki org dpn. dipendekkn cite smpi kt atas kitorg kne msk. so tpksa idupkn api. at last tpksa mkn nasi spruh msk, ayam spruh mentah n sardin mentah sbb api asyik pdm jek. mklum la ujan x brenti. kayu api pn bsh.emm..alahai..

dlm kol 5 tu kitorg btolak blk uia. after tu cm biase. bsuh bju, bsuh ksut n kmas beg blk kg.
after all, yay! im back ;)