Ramadhan Ya Kareem

Salam ramadhan to all. This ramadhan will be the most meaningful ramadhan to me. After 24 years of breathing, I totally give full of my heart to the Most Merciful. I know He knows what's the best for me, I believe everything happens for some reasons. Alhamdulillah.. Thanks ya Allah for everything..

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A door to Exit.

Warning - This is an emotional post. Please do not read if you have a migrain or heart problem. I will not be responsible if you want to take this risk. Thank you.


Dear blog,

I've been thinking a lots before I write this entry. My life is changing. Totally change.

pic from Google

Every girl wants to be a beauty.  Every girls loves beauty things. Same goes to me. I always want to look good in everything that I do, everything that I wear and everywhere that I go. I want people to see me with words of "Wow, she's gorgeous!" or "Wow, she's beautiful!". Since that, I try to grab every single opportunity that comes into my life. As I love photography, I take a first step to be a talent. I love being the subjects for each photo that had been taken. Then I start to adore this field so much. I move from title of the talent to become the one who walk on the stage for several awesome fashion shows where people stare at me with an amazing looks and keep asking me 'Can I get your numbers please?". Oh I love to be a part of the stories behind the show and the photo shoot as well. It is such a great memories which I will never forget until my last breathe.

However, everything starts to change last two days. It was a dream. The same dream which was repeated for more than two times and it was not a good dream. It was a dream that totally harm my life. I remembered that I once asked my ustaz about the dream during the lecture last semester. Ustaz, should we believe in dream? How can we know if the dream is true or vice versa? How should we know that the dream is a message from God or a lie from As-syayatiin? My ustaz had mentioned that sometimes if you dream of something bad happens in your life and the dream is repeated for many times, it means something. The dream might have two conditions. First, that bad thing will really happen to you. Second, that bad thing will not happen but you get the dream because it is a sign from Allah. He wants you to change, he gives you hidayah through the dream. He opens your eyes and your heart through your dream so that you can see the truth. It is also a test for your 'Iman', how far it is, how strong it is.

I don't now which condition that the dream belongs to. The first or the second one? I..don't know what to do. I feel lost. Empty. Down. Everything comes up in a same time but not in a right moment. I couldn't carry it anymore. At last, I call a friend and ask for his opinion. Since he is older than me, I think I can get some advices regarding to the problem. Although he is not handsome, has a big nose and the big eyes like owl, he did tell me something that I never thought before.

Me: Bla bla bla bla bla bla.. So, what do you think?

He: Hmm.. To be honest, let me tell you something. Imagine when you get married. Then you leave all this things. You promise that you will stop joining this modelling field. You marry to one man, only one man, but don't you know that a lot of photographers (men) still keep all of your photos? They are men! Then what will you say when some day one of your grandchildren comes home and tells you that his friend brings your photos to school and show to other friends where his friend says that he gets it from the album of his grandfather which is a famous photographer a long time before. What will you say to him? How will you explain that? Will you say that  " Oh, granny was a model. " Would you be able to tell that?

No, I will not be able to tell that! I don't want neither my children nor my grandchildren to follow my step. Frankly speaking, usually it's very hard for me to listen to any advice although it is a good one because I am a stubborn girl. It is not easy for me to change. But I do listen and follow his advice well. Maybe because I feel like he's my own brother even though we come from different types of blood. The most important things here is probably God has opened my heart and guide me to follow what I think the best for me. He knows the best, so I pray for the best.

There is only one way. If I don't want something bad happens to me like the one in the dream, I must leave this modelling field. I have to quit. Or else I will find myself crying alone in the middle of the night at the back of the bed with the feeling of regret until the end of my life. Stepping away from this world will be one of the most difficult time for me. I know I'm not an artist, I'm not the one who always come up in famous magazines or television show. I'm only a small butterfly which only known by a few photographers. But I feel hurt. When you leave something that is the reason for you to be almost on the top where people know and adore you because of your performance, I tell you it is really not an easy thing to do! Trust me. It is so hard until I feel like I want to run away, hiding myself from anything and hoping for the Judgement Day to come. But I have no choice. This is the only decision I should take, and it is the best one for this moment.

Oh God..I don't want to be famous. I don't want to be the idol for other girls because of my style or my pose. I want to be the best woman, the best daughter, the true muslimah, the best wife and the best mom.. I don't care if I'm not special like the others. I don't care if people say that I'm a typical Malay or telling me that  I'm stupid because of the decision that I've made. But I do care of my life in the hereafter! What should I say when He asks me what have I done in this world since I was born until my last breathe?

Dear people, don't hate me for what I've written. My life will never be the same as yours. We are all given the chance and it is we, ourselves who will decide which road we want to take. For the first time in my life I realise.. All day long I had no time, to spread a word of cheer, no time to speak of Allah to friends, no time to give to souls in need, no time, no time. Too much to do, that was my constant cry. How if tonight is my last time, the time to die. Then I go before the Lord, I come, I stand with downcast eyes, for in His hands God held a book. It is the book of life. God look into His book and says, your name I cannot find. I once was going to write it down, but never found the time... :'(

I.. want to write it down..sincerely.. I want a second chance.....!

For my future husband, I don't know who you are, how do you look like, how Islamic are you, but I just want you to know. I'm not a good person in the past and I'm in the process of inhealing myself. I made a lot of mistakes. I have hurt so many peoples. I've being an annoying girl for a long time. When the time comes, I want you to know that Im really sorry for everything. Give me a chance to be myself, the real me. I pray that you are a someone who knows how to read Al-fatihah in a correct way, who knows 'hukum tajwid', who can be an Imam in all my solah, who do the pillars of Islam, who is willing to share whole of his life with me, who will love me until your last breathe. I know I may not be the best girl in the world, but I promise that I will be a good muslimah, wife and mom. Insha Allah..




p/s: Allah, You are my Lord, there's no God but you. You have created me and I am Your slave and I'm bound to Your convenient and Your promise to the best of my ability. I seek refugee in You from the evil of what I've done. I beg your grace on me and I confess to You my sins. So forgive me, for none is there to forgive sins but You...

The drops from the black heart

For moments in my entire life,
some people stand like mannequin,
with their words that seem to ring in my eardrums,
they stared daringly into my weak and solemn eyes,
as they were glistening as if a layer of wet plastic covered them.

Physically I seemed to be without pity or compassion,
but emotionally I drained of love 
and hungered for it,
but my heart kept broken,
it felt like everything in it leaked out,
leaving it empty and hallow,
as the vacant spot somehow thruster forward,
unreasonable anger and rage.

I broke the tense silence,
I wanted to blurt out all my anguish,
inside I was falling apart,
but I still stayed composed,
stayed as cold as stone.
maybe it's not too late,
my heart spoke to myself,
the words pierced me in a way undesirable.

I slammed the door shut,
I ran to corner and cried my heart out,
I huddled in a ball like a baby,
for all tears wiped, I could have made a fortune.
I lifted my head,
I felt unbelievable heavy,
and the halls burrowing deeper into my hands,
it send painful sensations all over and over.

I peered out the window,
end lightened myself,
looking at the beautiful sky,
as stars scattered every where.

I took a deep breathe,
and listened to the sounds of the night,
words seems to be be too frail at this instance,
I closed my eyes, hugged the wind, 
and the nightingale said to me,
everything would be fine after all.
they will... 


Insha Allah.


- evagurl, Monday, 26th December 2011 , 3 a.m. -

Heart whispers to Soul

There is the time when you find that life is quite difficult. Yet you have to use all of your physical and mental strengths to fight the non-stop challenges until you feel like you want to give up, leave everything and walk down the street alone without any memory.

I do feel the same way. Go to class, then go back to hostel, finish the assignment, group discussion, prepare for presentation, write the lesson plan - those are my daily routine. Well that's a normal life for student, no doubt.

Since this is Ramadhan, I suppose to double my ibadah but it seems like.. things do not happen in the way that I want it to be. Last week I showed my draft of the assignment regarding to the issues that happened in school. However, my lecturer did not approve my issues and asked me to change to another issues. I had to see her and showed my draft for many times until she approved. Actually the time given is not enough for us to do a lot of references and find the information because all assignments and research come at the same time. Yet we have to submit them in a short of time. So we don't have any choice at all. Thus I need to sacrifice my sleeping time and work double. Instead of waking up in the middle of the night to pray and ask for His forgiveness, I use the time given to complete those assignments (with non-stop working). After the iftar and Maghrib prayer I suppose to go for terawih but then I sit on the chair, open my laptop and continue writing the assignment until morning. Yeah that's crazy enough.

There was a night when I was busy typing the explanation for the issues and I fall asleep (with no intention). When I woke up, it was almost 7.45 a.m. and I didn't perform Subuh prayer yet! So I immediately take a wudhu and perform solah. That's sooo weird. Even the solat wajib you almost missed, how about the other ibadah? Durhh what kind of muslim are you? Come on Izma. It's Ramadhan! Again, it's Ramadhan. Where have you been?? =_=

Frankly speaking I feel a bit down.. I wish everything will end as soon as possible so that I can manage my time properly. I wish I could plan better, I wish everything is going to be okay. Oh how I wish those things. Forgive me God  :'(

Till then, my take 5 has fulfilled by writing this entry. Now I have to offline and print the assignment to submit tomorrow morning.



Damned. What's wrong with me?

See that girl?

Yeah, she's the one who stuck up for you,
the one who stayed up,
until midnight just to talk to you.
She's the one whose heart
flutters when she gets
a call or a text from you.
She's the one who fought for you,
the one that missed and loved you.

But by the time you realize
that she's the girl you want..

She's already be with
the guy who figured it out.

Hello beloved followers and readers. I'm quite busy since this is my final semester and I don't find enough time to update my blog. Well, I found this poem in tumblr. So I feel like sharing it with all of you. My advise is do appreciate the one that you really love before he/she leaves you without you realizing it. If you do love someone, tell him/her before you lose them. Don't afraid of being rejected because by telling him/her, your chances to be approved might be 50%. But if you hold and keep it to yourself, he/she might fall for someone and you will be the one who will suffer in silence.




p/s: Im the one who keep in silent until now. Pathetic right.. :'(

22.09.2012

A hope.

I'll be waiting..

If you find me,

You'll get me.

If not,

I won't stay until the rest of my life.

I promise.



p/s: Do fight for me, that is the only thing I'm asking for.

Sketch

One for me, one for you. Eh did I just mention you? ;-)

the draft

I was being sketched by Rafe. For the first time someone did sketch the photo of mine and it's mouse sketch! Sob sob sob T.T *terharu*

the product!

Thank you so much Rafe. I really appreciate this! And I love it so so so muchhhhhhhh <3

Does heaven has a phone number?

Hello Operator,

Can I have heaven's phone humber?
I need to call my friend, Hakim who was there,
I need him here today,
My heart hurts and I fell down; I need him right away,
Operator, can you tell me how to find his name in this book?

Is heaven in the yellow part? I don't know where to look.
I think my other friends need him too,
I hear them call his name sometimes,
I want to tell him Izuari, Izat, Nada, Hamzah, Ayeem miss him too.

Does heaven's numbers is here?
Because I need to speak to him,
I need to ask does he feels better?
Maybe if I call him, he will hurry to me.
I'm sure he'll be happy,
when I tell him I've become somebody,
as I promise to change to be what I should be,
and I'm not the old me.

Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea?
He's been gone quite a time,
I really need to reach him, but I simply don't know how.

Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big, big words,
I'm sorry, operator, I didn't mean to make you cry,
Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye?

Oh you didn't have the numbers?

Thank you operator, I'll find it the other time...


:'(




p/s: The original poem was about sad poem for mom written by anonymous but I edited and changed a bit to produce this one. So no offence, thank you.

Satu Janji

Hari Bapa. Aku sedang 'lunch' dengan ayah aku (baba) semasa mama call dan bagitau yang nenek masuk hospital. Dalam kereta:

Baba: Baba ni makin lama makin tua.. Dah tak larat dah.. Tunggu masa je. Iza dan adik-adik pun dah besar, dah boleh hidup, buat keputusan sendiri. Dah jumpa yang berkenan?

Aku: Hurm.. belum.. tak nak ah fikir pasal tu, takkan nak tinggal baba. Iza nak dok ngan baba.


Baba: Ish budak ni.. Satu masa nanti kena ada family sendiri jugak. Takkan nak berseorangan sampai ke tua. Tak elok kahwin lewat sangat, Iza tu pompuan. Tak manis orang pandang nanti.

Aku: Ye la ye la.


Baba: Kita ni orang ada ilmu.. ada pelajaran.. ada agama.. Nak cari teman hidup ni bukan boleh main-main, bukan boleh amik tepi jalan je.. Pilih orang yang cukup ilmu agama, tahu hukum hakam, tahu bacaan quran, yang boleh jd imam, baru tenang hidup. Nak harapkan duit dan rupa je mana cukup.


Aku : Tapi sekarang susah ah nak cari lelaki macam tu. Macam tak dak je. Dalam mimpi je kot.


Baba: Iza.. Iza.. Walau tinggi mana pun ilmu kita, walau kuat mana pun iman kita, walau cantik mana pun rupa kita, satu masa mesti kita akan buat silap jugak..Walau teruk mana pun salah kita, pintu taubat tu sentiasa terbuka asalkan kita ikhlas dan betul-betul nak bertaubat. Nak dapatkan yang terbaik, kita sendiri kena jadi yang terbaik.. Masa silam tu tinggal ke belakang, untuk masa depan kita yang kena bersedia dan ubah diri kita jadi lebih elok. Allah itu adil. Rajin-rajinlah berdoa dan sembahyang sunat, insha allah jumpa la tu yang macam kita nak...

Aku: Umm.. (sigh)


Baba: Lagipun baba dah tua. Dah tak larat nak marah-marah, Iza pun dah besar, dah tau mane baik buruk. Selagi Iza belum kahwin, selagi tu la Iza dalam jagaan baba. Sekali Iza buat dosa, baba pun kena tanggung sama, sebab Iza tanggungjawab baba. Iza nak ke tengok baba kena seksa nanti sebab perbuatan Iza? Iza nak ke baba dapat balasan sebab Iza langgar hukum? Apa baba nak jawab kalau kena soal 'di mana kamu semasa anak kamu buat itu, ini? Apa peranan kamu sebagai ayah?' Iza sanggup ke? Iza tak kasihan kat baba? Iza tak sayang baba?





Menitis air mata.




Aku... takkan kembali ke jalan itu lagi...





p/s: Once I go, I'll never turn back...!

Would you?

Would you please stop writing to me?
Because your letters ain't nice
They are blinding both of my eyes


Would you please stop singing to me?
Because your verse and chorus curse
They are deafening both of my ears


Would you please stop hugging me?
Because your arms are tones-heavy
They are squeezing my lil body

Are you blind, deaf, or senseless?
Is something wrong with your nerves?


Or with me you fall in love?


Would you please stop staring at me?
Because I can see your tears swell
They make me wanna cry as well


Would you please stop loving me?
A man dying with cancer.


                                                -Anonymous




I found this poem somewhere.

p/s: What do you think after you read it?

Jatuh

Aku....
sedang jatuh..
Bukan niat aku mahu menyepi.
Berikan aku sedikit masa.









Teringat kat arwah hakim.. Dulu selalu mengadu kat dia.. Skrg.... :'(

Surat Untuk Sahabat

Aku tak pandai bermadah pujangga. Aku tak pandai bercakap lembut. Aku tak pandai hantar msg cute-cute. Aku tak pandai nyanyi lagu atau tulis puisi syahdu untuk kau. Aku tak pandai melukis. Aku tak reti nak vlog. Aku cuma tahu menulis dan menaip, walaupun Bahasa Melayu aku tunggang langgang.


Sepanjang persahabatan kita, Aku selalu:

1. psycho ko tahap dewa. 
2. marah dan gaduh dengan ko tak kira masa tempat dan keadaan. 
3. berebut milo tabur dengan ko.
4. paksa ko makan banyak-banyak walaupun ko asyik cakap ko makin gemok
5. kutuk kening ko macam The Rock hero smack down. (betul hape)
6. menjerit sampai nak pekak telinga bila ko tak nak panggil aku kakak dan cakap aku macam budak walhal aku lagi tua dari ko. 
7. bercakap dan gelak kuat-kuat bila dengan ko walaupun semua orang pandang dengan muka-apa-hal-budak-ni.
8. membebel sampai kering air liur kasi nasihat macam nenek kebayan tapi ko buat derk jek.
9. buli ko tapi ko turut je macam budak nerd. 
10. buat lawak bodoh macam harem walhal ko tengah mengadu masalah.
11. paksa ko ikut aku pegi mane-mane walaupun time tu kita sama-sama ada money problem.
12. ugut ko suh teman aku karaoke berjam-jam walhal suara ko macam bruno mars dan suara aku macam toad.

Dan ko selalu:

1. buat muka seposen bila kena marah
2. cakap aku huduh walaupun aku cun. (perasan)
3. mengalah dan lembut hati walhal aku keras kepala dan degil gile babem. 
4. kasi tips bodoh cara nak tackle lelaki. Sumpah satu pun tak menjadik. Haha 
5. berlagak macam JPJ kalau aku yang drive walhal aku lagi terror drift dari ko
6. back up aku kalau aku jatuh cinta dengan org yang salah
7. dengar je aku cerita pape walaupun ko tengah busy
8. sokong aku walaupun kadang-kadang aku yang salah
9. makan nasi goreng belacan dan cilok kailan ikan masin aku. lol
10. kutuk gigi aku jongang
11. ketawakan aku bila ade orang cakap muka aku macam bini no 4 Salleh Yaakob
12. panggil aku andartu banyak mulut
13. cakap aku orang kampung sebab tak reti pakai Blackberry (mmg tak reti pun)
14. ikut aku ke hulu ke hilir pegi photoshoot dengan barang-barang bersepah kiri kanan ko kena bawak.
15. apa-apa hal mesti cakap 'mung kan model'. sumpah rasa macam nak terajang jek
16. habaq muka aku pucat macam mayat kalau tak pakai make up. grrrr
17. respect dan tak pernah smoking depan aku
18. lebihkan kawan daripada makwe ko sendiri. adei..
19. mintak maaf lebih-lebih padahal bukan salah ko pun

Mungkin aku ini adalah beban dalam hidup ko. Adanya aku membuat keadaan menjadi lebih teruk. Tetapi aku mahu ko tahu yang aku :

1. tak boleh tengok ko sedih. 
2. tak boleh tengok orang lain buli or cari pasal dengan ko.
3. tak sanggup biarkan ko pegi makan durian sorang-sorang walaupun durian kat KL mahal nak mati
4. tak senang duduk kalau ko kebuluq tak makan walaupun ko asyik bagitau ko diet.
5. agak kecewa sebab tak mampu buat apa-apa walaupun tahu ko dalam masalah
6. selalu fikir macam mana la ko kat uia tanpa aku. Makan ke tak? sihat ke tak? ok ke tak?
7. sanggup ponteng kelas sebab nak temankan ko tengok movie. (takleh blah)
8. tak sanggup nak tinggal ko sorang-sorang dan dok jauh dengan ko. sob sob sob.. T.T

Sekarang ko tengah down dan aku tak mampu untuk buat apa-apa. Maafkan aku.. Bagi aku sedikit masa, akan aku tebus balik sesalan yang pernah aku rasa. Aku menyusun sepuluh jari menutup muka untuk mengucapkan:

1. Terima kasih sebab tolong hantar motor aku pegi workshop walhal time tu kita semua tengah final exam. Dahla panas terik, tapi ko sanggup tolong aku tanpa fikir penat susah lelah.
2. Terima kasih sebab selalu tersenyum dan ketawa walaupun kena marah.
3. Terima kasih sebab sanggup nak datang amik aku kat airport walaupun ticket aku kena burn.
4. Terima kasih sebab ada bersama aku masa aku down time arwah hakim pergi..
5. Terima kasih kerana menjadi sebahagian dari hidup aku walaupun aku banyak susahkan ko.
6. Terima kasih kerana tak jemu bagi sokongan walaupun aku tak layak untuk itu.
7. Terima kasih kerana buat aku rasa tidak kekok dan menjadi diri aku sendiri bila berada dengan ko.
8. Terima kasih kerana tak pernah merungut atau mengeluh walaupun ko penat yang amat. 
9. Terima kasih kerana buat aku ketawa walaupun aku tengah menangis.
10. Terima kasih kerana buat aku rasa aku bernyawa dan berharga.
11. Terima kasih kerana menjadi antara sahabat dan anugerah terbaik yang pernah aku miliki.
    

Aku tahu aku bukan seorang sahabat yang baik. Jadi aku ikhlas berterima kasih dan aku mahu ko tahu. Kau, aku dan insan lain adalah sebahagian dari cerita yang telah ditulis oleh Yang Esa. Kalau aku menutup mata lebih awal, aku bersyukur kepada Allah kerana pinjamkan aku dan beri aku peluang mengenali ko walaupun untuk masa yang singkat.


Semoga berkat dan rahmat Allah sentiasa bersama kau. Terima kasih sahabat.

p/s: Tuhan, tolong jaga dia...

Don't force me to like you.

I've seen a husband slap her wife.

I've seen a brother kick his sister.

I've seen a dad beats his daughter and son.

I've seen a man shouted at a woman.

I've seen a guy made a girl cry.

I've seen people treated others like rubbish.

I've seen all those things.

Why does every single bad thing happen?

They can't control their anger and emotion.

I... can't stand with them.

That's not my world.

A reminder,

I won't marry a bad-tempered-guy. I swear.

Aku tak mahu merana seumur hidup!

And you, please

take me to walk under the rain so that I won't see the reality.

There is a story of...

There is a story of a man..
who always kept his feeling towards his friend
until the day she got married
He decided to tell the truth and..
she felt that it’s a good joke for her wedding

There is a story of a man..
who has never told his wife how much he loves her
until the day she passed away
until now, he keeps sending flowers to her grave everyday
with thousand kisses on the card saying ‘I Love You’..
But…
Would she be able to know?

There is a story of a girl…
who always needed a hug from her daddy
but she was too shy to ask for
until the day she can never hug him anymore..


Yet, there is a story of a girl..
who loves her bestfriend so much,
sharing a lot of joy together,
waiting for the day to meet,
but they can't make it even at once,
until the day she can never hear the laugh anymore...

A lot of stories happen everyday
You could know what had happen yesterday
How can you be sure what will happen tomorrow?
Think of something you never say..
Are you waiting until the day?

While you reading this,
if someone appears in your mind,
please do what you always want to do if you don’t want
to lose them...!

Tears are the silent language of grief

Kata orang,
"Jangan ditangisi yang dah pergi, nanti roh arwah tak tenang"


Aku..
takkan menangis lagi..



Sahabat,
semoga rohmu tenang di sana,
doa dan bacaan yaasin akan selalu ku kirim hingga di akhir usia.



Tuhan,
pinjamkan mereka yang lain lebih lama,
sehingga aku di hujung nyawa..

Aku masih belum cukup kuat.. :(

Truth and Faith

"Allah has already written the names of your spouses for you. What you need to work on is your relationship with ALLAH SWT. He will send him/her to you when you are ready. It is only a matter of time."








Insha Allah.

It will be okay

soon.




Insha Allah.

 

Smile, comes to me. 

Will you?

Lost

in an ocean of sorrow.


Tears and shadows,
will you go?

La tahzan ya Izma, innallah hamaanna...

Rintihan Al-Quran

Sejauh manakah abad telah berlalu? Sepantas manakah usia dimamah beku...? Sekian apakah yang telah merentap keinsafan di dada insan, hingga lena tak pernah mengah menjamah alpa dan kaku? Perlukah rintihan ini bergema, kerana suaranya tak pernah meresap tangkai jiwa, sekalipun usia dunia sedekad demi sedekad berputar.. Perlukah untuk sebuah rintihan ini, melagukan kekesalan, atas setiap kealpaan yang tak pernah usang di mata insan.. Hakikatnya, manusia tetap memandang lesu, pada kalam suci, wahyu Ilahi ini...!!

Terlupakah duhai insan, tatkala Jibril mendakap erat Rasul junjungan, Kalam Suci ini yang diucapkan! Terlupakah duhai insan, tatkala dakapan dileraikan, kalam suci ini jua yang diungkapkan... dan masih terlupakah duhai insan, tatkala bergetar tubuh Rasul pilihan, kalam ini jua menjadi penguat sebuah keresahan!! Andai bisa kau dengar duhai insan, betapa diri ini merintih sayu, tatkala debu-debu berterbangan, menutup seribu bahasa keindahan, yang terkandung dalam kalimah dan wahyu suci ini... Andai bisa kau dengar duhai insan, betapa diri ini terkilan untuk sebuah kealpaan yang terhidang hingga Kalam Ilahi ini tertutup rapat tanpa sebuah sentuhan...

 pic from Google

Untuk apa ku jadi pilihan... Seandainya sekadar ditonton segenap keindahan?? Untuk apa kujadi pilihan, seandainya sekadar untuk disimpan..?? Dan untuk apa Kalam Suci ini memenuhi segenap ruangan, seandainya sekadar suatu perhiasan..?? Aduhai yang bergelar insan, tidakkah terlintas di hati kalian, untuk menggemakan alam dengan suara-suara melafazkan Kalam Suci Tuhan...?? Tidakkah terasa kekerdilan, kerana segenap makhluk Tuhan tak pernah alpa melagukan pujian dalam versi kesyukuran dan keinsafan...?? Aduhai malangnya! Umat terakhir ini sering dilapah kelalaian.. Sedangkan usia dunia, sejengkal, belum pasti kau bisa bertahan...

Ya Tuhan, dalam rintihan kudus ini, betapa sunyinya sebuah kitab suci ini, tanpa suara yang ingin melafazkan kalimah-Mu..Betapa sebuah kitab suci ini, merindukan segenap suasana dalam sirah terdahulu... Bila Rasul dan para sahabat berlumba-lumba mengejar ma'rifat, bersatu memohon maghfirullah, mengucapkan Kalam-kalam suci ini tanpa ada lena yang membekukan jiwa! Aduhai insan... seandainya, terpanggil jiwa dan dirimu, mendakap sebuah Kitab Suci ini, alunkanlah segenap suara, membaca perutusan Tuhan, menjenguk sebuah keinsafan, kerna tiada seindah bahasa, seelok pujangga, sebenar-benar kalimah, melainkan sebuah kitab, yang tertulis di dalamnya Al-Quran... Wahyu Ilahi... Padanya ada jutaan makna tersimpan, dan sebuah yang tertulis Al-Quran jua, merintih untuk segenap kealpaan insan, membiarkannya usang, ditelan masa dan arus kekosongan,tanpa suara keinsafan!!






p/s:
Siapa kata aku berpaling dari bahasa ibundaku,
walhal darah aku masih Melayu.
Siapa bilang aku lupa agamaku,
walhal jiwa aku masih pada Yang Satu.